Wine a little, you'll feel better!

I. Love. Wine.

Yet again, who doesn't? For those of you who aren't quite sure what the big whoop is, here you go! Oh, and it has mom written all over it!

1. It takes one for the team.

Now whether it's your kids, your boss, or your partner that has made you unsure if your hair feels better on your head or in a tightly clenched fist,  take your frustration out on that wine bottle ladies! A few simple steps and the 'momster' will return back to the depths of sleep deprivation. 

     Step 1: Remove hair from fists. We all know hair grows back but if post-partum hair loss and growth has taught me anything it's that 'ain't nobody got time for that'.  Also, waking up with a lion mane of curly short hair around your hairline is only going to fuel the Momster within.

     Step 2: Scramble like a mad woman for your wine opener that your toddler most likely put in safe keeping for you since you managed to grab the last bottle on earth that actually has a cork. This sometimes means digging through your garbage. There is all kinds of goodies in there.

     Step 3: Try and locate your wine glass. They are most likely dirty or broken but no one here is judging your newly appointed character plastic stemless wine glass. I promise.

     Step 4: Put your kid(s) back to bed.

     Step 5: If you haven't already, change into some yoga pants or Pjs. You can also skip this step by staying in them all day.

     Step 6: Enjoy. You should also note that you don't have to share it and that you have all the right to death glare anyone who goes near it.

2. It comes with the lifestyle.

What other drink pairs so well with our lifestyle of yoga pants and messy hair? I feel confident enough that I won't look like a hobo at the end of the night, the house a mess, in sweatpants, and desperately needing a shower with a glass of wine in hand.

3. It can be considered another family member, what's one more, anyways?

It sometimes joins you at dinner, just like your partner, kids, relatives...it might even be the only one who makes an appearance...cold dinner anyone? It has also been known to make appearances at family get togethers, graduations, birthdays, game nights, bbq's, and Tuesdays.

4. It's a well written personal ad.

We all know finding mom friends is like dating. Whether it's a typical play date pick up or mom facebook chat group dating, nothing is worse than trying to find things in common and not feel judged. Wino moms. It's a thing. If we flaunt it, it naturally attracts other moms we might be interested in. Mom-friend dating is hard, this helps weed out the field.

5. You don't have to share.

As mentioned before, you have all the right to bring out your best death glare towards anyone who nears it. As parents we share everything. Body parts, clothes, food, beds, baths, your soul, drinks, dessert, bodily fluids, time, going to the bathroom, chores (which is more like the opposite...UNfolding laundry). This one is yours. You don't have to share and kids can't have it.

6. It's a reason to get together with the girls.

You don't always have time to get together with all your friends. Specially if they are not "mom" friends. You have more of a chance of having a conversation that isn't based around what your kids poop looked like today with your friends without children if you have wine to talk about. By the time the wine conversation is over it won't matter anyways, you will be preoccupied with 90's music ans Taylor Swift Karaoke.

7. Just Because.

8. It makes certain gatherings and situations bearable. 

You are less likely to be judged in these scenarios than if you were slamming tequila shots. Nothing makes a gathering more awkward when you end up with less clothes on and have gone for more naps than your baby/toddler on their worst of days.

9. It's classy and I need to be reminded of my class even though I'm not sure when I had my last shower, there are questionable stains on my clothing, and I no longer have any sort of filter and talking about poop and bodily fluids at the dinner table isn't out of the question.

10. Sex.

Not saying you can't have one without the other but after a day of screaming kids, hair pulling, being a human jungle gym, cleaning, cooking (because for some reason humans need to eat all damned day), laundry, and most likely minimal sleep, you could use a boost at the end of the night. That 2 glass frisky feeling.....am I right? 

A letter to my children

For you,

There are so many things that I want to teach you in life.

There are the common milestones like crawling, walking, talking, riding a bike, writing, and reading etc. but those aren't the ones I am referring to in this very moment.  I guess when I say teach you, I really mean help you, guide you, fight for you, advise you, comfort you, listen to you, and when you really need it simply hold you.

When you are little there are so many tricky things to know and often you call us out on technicalities which is something you don't quite understand yet but it reminds me of the simplicity in things. When you are little I will be there to pick you up when you fall, brush the dirt off your knees, and kiss the scrapes and bruises.  I will help you to figure out your "right and left" and your "rights and wrongs", I will help you find the fun in sharing with others and the joy in helping others.  I will encourage to voice your opinion in a mindful manner and never to judge the opinion of others.  I will lead by example in the importance of truth and the practice of silence.  I will help you understand that words are not just words but a combination of strength, emotion, persuasion, and power and to always do your best to use them for good and positive change. Not maliciously.

You will grow in an environment of respect and confidence towards yourself.  You will know that you belong to no one but yourself and that you are the only one who can make decisions about you and your body.  You will know to seek knowledge and education so that you may always make the best decisions for yourself, and if your decisions do not lead you where you wish to be, know to learn from that and just move forward.  You will treat yourself well by taking time for yourself, learning, exploring, adventuring, being healthy and active, experimenting, and loving not only yourself but others.  May you happen to fall from a broken heart, seek what you need to mend it then seek the next to openly and fully give it to, again.  Never let the fear of a broken heart keep you sharing your love and seeking it in return for that is the worlds greatest gift, it is the only thing no one can take from you if you choose so.

I could write for every day of my life, hope to still guide you every day beyond that and never fit in everything I hope for you and wish to teach you.  Let this letter stand as a reminder for myself of how everything I do, shapes who you are.  Let it be a reminder to myself to practice what I preach and most of all how much you have taught me and have yet to teach me in your life time.

Love you,

Mama.

 

Draft from the Past

Written about 2 years ago...

At night when I sit and try and gather the pieces and let all my "what if's" run out of my eyes leaving streaks in my makeup, I can't help but realize it is all the memories that keep the wounds open in this heart of mine.

For me, there are two types of memories .  Old memories keep the wounds open and and new memories are the only thing that will patch the hole the old ones have left behind; they bring peace.

I'm a clinger, and I'm not saying I am a stage 5 "avoid me while you can" type clinger but I love the past, even when it's no good for me and there is no possible way I can reclaim it. I can't go back to elementary or high school, I can't do things differently or hang on to the friends I once had or re-live the memories we made, but what I can do is take that to heart and push forward.  I can get in touch with the people I miss even though I know it most likely will not be the same, I can take everything I have learned in the past and apply it to the future, and I can be proud of how far I have come and how much I have grown.  I hope to pass on the same knowledge or help someone who needs it as much as I may have at one point. I have to learn to use the past as a building point, a foundation and that push to make me strive for more.

Be my trigger.

For those of you who know me, you will know this about me; timing is everything. I use it as an excuse, I use when I feel uncomfortable and need an answer, I use it to explain certain feelings or happenings I can't describe but most of all I use it as truth and I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

I believe that when the time is right certain people enter our lives, maybe not to be a significant part of it but to contribute a significant amount. You may not always realize it, or be able to pin point the moment but if you think back really hard I'm sure you will be able to find a time where this truth has impacted your life.
If your life has become to comfortable or routine - you find that one person who shakes it up that perfect amount...someone says something that influences change, or their actions make you bubble with envy which in turn changes your path. An acquaintance can speak little words but inspire you, they can end up saving you when you didn't even know you needed to be in the first place. The moment you finally make a decision you have been toying with for what seems to be forever can set off a chain of reaction in another's life whether they are ready for it or not. Your life can be utter chaos until the perfect moment where someone, something, some moment makes it perfect and fall into place...it settles like sediment when the water calms.

It's like a maze of dominoes. A bunch of different trails and as they meet each other like crossroads on a map, they trigger the start of others.

When we need each other, I will meet you at the crossroad.

Love, Polish and Light.

You know that feeling you get when you think you aren't being as great as you can be, like you're not reaching your highest potential? That gut feeling that is almost a bit like butterflies but the upsetting kind?  Yep. I have it.  And that got me thinking... If I feel that way towards certain situations and towards certain people, maybe it is not I alone that can remain responsible.  Yes I have heard the "take responisibilty for your actions" and I agree... but another thing I believe in is that I am human and a girl and whether I like
it or not I have emotions, I get moody and if I don't like what I'm recieving there is a good chance that I won't act upon it in a matter that would be considered my highest potential.  I know all of you out there know what I am talking about.  The best part is when you consciously sit there after your reaction and are fully aware of what just happened and that you could have stopped it, and still can but choose not to.  I call this being fed up.

Being Fed Up:

How about not. How about before we get fed up, react negatively, and then dwell on the fact that we are better than that we make the super grown up and mature decision to "gtfo".  Displace yourself. Surround yourself with those people and those situations where it brings out your greatness, not hide it. If we all start making decisions for the better and act upon our thoughts and feelings before you have reached your wits end, maybe we would all be a little less bitchy and a little more awesome.

I really doubt that as "society" was  trying to shape all of us their goal was to have it so only a few people get to see our good side.  It should be the only side.

"If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best" True story, but this "worst" is not an excuse or a cover for being an idiot. 

As always there are exceptions and people, if you have gone so far past the mark of being a DBag that there is no hope for you, shitty deal.  Save us all the trouble and pair up with other DBags and don't ruin the good ones for us.

Please, love me. Be the polish that makes me sparkle and I will be the light that makes you shine, together we will be brilliant.

xoxo Soph.

Picture perfect

Just wanted to share a picture from the wedding I did February 11!

What is.

I do not believe love is a feeling. I believe is it what we use to describe how when we have that one person they magnify and intensify all the feelings and emotions we do feel. That is what love describes. How that one person can make you really happy, or unbelievably sad. They can bring out your anger in such rage you didn't know you had it in you and can can provide you with enough strength and hope to get you by when you truly believe you have hit rock bottom.

Love is feeling comfortable, and I'm not talking about the way your lulu's make you feel after a long day - even though we all know how great that is. It's being brave enough to bare even your darkest side of you with all your nasty secrets and get no judgement in return. It is not about being the best "you" you can be, but finding someone who think you are the best for them no matter what.