Sleepy, but here.

Well good thing I kept up with my blog... my apologies!  I would like to make some excuses like "I've been too busy" or "I was too tired" but truth is it doesn't take a lot to write something simple just to keep up with my goal.

Apparently movies (and a few pushes and reminders from my select two - aka the lovely ladies in my photobooth pic) inspire me to write again.  I catch a few phrases that I hold onto, or a character lights a fire in me to better myself or to grow in a way where I hope I will someday become like them.  The movie of choice tonight? The Women.

The ambition, drive and strength of Mary Haines (Meg Ryan) is something I would like to strive towards.  I think I am going to make a poster of "what I want" and make sure those words are on there. I have all of those, it's in me I know it. I just have to dig and make sure I bring them out..and not just when I'm angry.  And of course a few select quotes from the movie:
  
"why would you want to make love go away? It's hard enough to find in the first place." 
"Someone once said "when you don't know what to do, do nothing"

*Random thought, I've decided when I get time I want to take a nutrition course*


So I mentioned prior what my excuses would be if I were to use them for why I haven't blogged, and I'm just going to let you know they are true.  I'm tired and I am busy.  I have now done 6 weddings and only more on the way and I am quite enjoying it.  It makes me feel all mushy inside. 


I'm getting super sleepy and can't seem to collect my thoughts properly anymore so I'm going to head to bed.  I think tomorrow I will try and make a part to my blog just for music that I can update, I found some gooders lately. Sweet Dreams Internet Land <3 




p.s. I ate a 1 inch cube of chicken that was put on my plate today...I was at Osaka's and the cook gave me a piece and I clearly wasn't thinking I believe my words were "oh sweet thanks" and in it went. Other than that I have stuck to being pescatarian since July 1.


oh and Hi Hailey. =]

Take Pride In Your Success

A couple months ago I came across what I thought an amazing opportunity.  I had the choice to switch over from my job as the Restaurant/Food and Beverage Manager of a golf course to one of their Catering Events Coordinator.  Some people may think of that as downgrading but as a 21 year old girl it sounded perfect.  The majority of the events we do are weddings - averaging to about just over 100 per year.  As you can see in my last post I am a sucker for Love, it fascinates me...so obviously I took it.  After training for a few months I was assigned to weddings starting July, tonight July 10th being my first. 

I was so surprised at how smoothly the day went even after a few little tedious moments and I wasn't even nervous at all.  I was actually extremely excited and with that the wedding went smoothly and the bride and groom were happier then ever, I believe with even how little I know about them that they will be a couple that lasts.  I could see it in their eyes. I am so proud of myself for working so hard and  having my first wedding going very well it feels awesome, and I really enjoy it.  Who knows maybe this is something I will do long term. 

.....now to work on not crying at the weddings I coordinate ^_^

"Eat, Pray, LOVE" ...

I know this seems like a book to read but bear with me...

I have what I want to write running through my mind at a mile a minute, but I'm not used to actually having to put it down on paper.  It plays kind of like a narration in a movie - a monologue of sorts, and in there, like that - it sounds fantastic.  Hopefully soon enough my blog will too.  I have found myself taking notes throughout the day of what I want to tell everyone and how I want to say it so that I don't forget.

Last night my boyfriend and I went to hang out with his 8 month old niece. I loved it. Let's just say that I am going through a major baby fever, and with them popping up everywhere, it doesn't help.  I am completely in love with children and can't wait to be a mom myself.  I can wait, but I would also be happy not waiting...y'know?  To love something/someone so unconditionally no matter what and know that they love you too, and to be that much a part of someones life, to be able to create life is amazing. A friend once told me that "you cannot live life without creating life" and I couldn't agree more, of course - to each their own. I would be completely content with life if it were just me and my child...not always ideal, but happy.  It's a type of love that words won't do justice.

That brings me to my next topic. Love.

Definition:

love/ləv/

Noun: An intense feeling of deep affection: "their love for their country".

Verb: Feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone): "do you love me?". 

I don't know what it is about me and love but just thinking about it can make me emotional, upset and happy.  How can one feeling take up so much of your life, to devote every ounce you have in you to it - blood, sweat, tears, joy, your DNA, money...everything...to sometimes in the end (of a relationship, a life, a friendship) to cause you the biggest heartbreak, the worst feeling you could imagine, and what seems the hardest climb back to hapiness you could endure. How is it so hard, yet so simple? How is it so right, even when it's wrong? Good and bad? Fun..and far from? It is the most complex feeling one can have and it can either make your world or break it.

Enough of my "Love" rant for now, back to my evening - with something slightly relative to Love.

After I was done pretty much hi-jacking the baby it was time to leave.  When we got home I decided I wanted to watch a movie hence the no blog post last night.  Even though I knew my boyfriend would be thrilled about my choice, I saunter over to the DVD shelf grad "Eat, Pray, Love" and pop it into the DVD player.  I soon found myself not only relating to parts and aspects of the movie, I also found myself crying over them.  Since I had decided to set goals for myself this summer that aim towards self-improvement and overall happiness you can start to see the relation.  I'm not going to put my job on hold and travel around the world to do so obviously, but locally I am sure I can go on an adventure all the same. 

I want to share with you some of the parts of the movie that I love.  For many reasons.

In relation to my journey, my fears, and all that I have to learn about myself:

"In the end, I've come to believe in something I call "The Physics of the Quest." A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity. The rule of Quest Physics goes something like this: If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments, and set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you."

I do believe that Love is the one thing that can rock and shift your world completely whether you want it to or not.  Which brings me to the next quote:

"To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life"

I am known to give as much as I can, and ask for little in return - as long as you love me.  My heart may be fragile and may have been broken a few times, but no matter how great the pain, just like the love previous I will give you my whole heart and nothing less.  This is one of the parts that drew tears to my eyes. 

"...I disappear into the person I love. I am the permeable membrane. If I love you, you can have my everything. You can have my time, my devotion, my ass, my money, my family, my dog, my dog's money, my dog's time--everything. If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else. "

and...

"I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast and without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and then I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism."

Say Hello to a Slice of my Life!

First of, let me just say that creating a blog with pictures, placement, color scheme, and like 1974682 different options...frustrating as hell for a very indecisive individual like myself.

Okay, so clearly I am new at all of this blog stuff.  Besides reading a couple here and there I have never created one nor have I ever written publicly besides the obvious Facebook, which I can't even put into comparison.  For me this all came about one evening while having a few drinks with my boyfriend and my best friend.  Let's just say I don't remember EXACTLY how it came up but I'm pretty sure it was my boyfriend who started the topic.  I then thought it would be funny if the three of us had a blog-off, to each create one and see who can keep it up the longest - that never happened.

Now I have created a blog in attempts to put my stresses and anxiety at bay. 

My best friends and I with out photobooth attempt